My Flaws

my flaws and all...

i'm a wreck in the morning
a bitch in the afternoon
every now and then without warning
i'm really mean towards you.
yes indeed i'm a puzzle
ever so complex in every way
all the pieces aren't even in the box
yet you see the picture clear as day.
i neglect you when i'm occupied
then when I need your attention I tend to nag
i'm really a host of imperfection
and you just see past all of that.
i'm way too difficult at times
but in your eyes i'm still a queen
you accept and see potential in all my flaws
you catch me when I fall.

i really don't know why you love me
but that's why I love you.

M e E M O

This is how I feel right now.. I just don't know how to express my feelings & to make people understand me.

Holy Hell It's Been A While

Whoa! My longest non-posting period. Hmmm... Apologies for my absence in writing my blog for my avid readers. Right now, I am quite busy with my hectic roster and I am trying my best to adjust my body clock. For the past 3 weeks, I really can't sleep and all I can do is, just resting my body.. Every night, my mind will keep on thinking about what had happened and I really can't except the fact that HE IS GONE. I understand that it is bad to cried over someone death but.. I have tried not to cry but still......... Most of my friends said that, I have to be strong.. I have to face the fact.. I have to accept it with an open mind.. blalalalalaaa.. To be honest, I do appreciate all of the advices & the condolences but.. it's all about my feelings, my heart, my soul.. I feel different. I can feel like I am totally different person.. I do not know why is it so hard for me to let it go.. I can't let him go.. I just can't. But the weird thing is, I do want him to be happy & live peacefully and I know that he is in a God hands.. I do not want to cry, I do not want his soul to be suffer but.. but at the sametime, I just want him to stay because I am not ready to let him go.. I need him and I really miss him so badly. I just feel like wanna scream my anger, my sadness, my loneliness out loud.. because I don't think that other people understand how suffer and how hard for me to overcome this situations. Especially before flight, I have to be really strong & to be well prepared. Sorry guys, I just feel like wanna SCREAM OUT LOUD!!!! Arrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Horoscope Personality Traits

So you don't believe in horoscope? What bout me? Well, I would say that I believe on the personality part of it and not the fortune telling future type. Those horoscope columns in the newspaper is crap, I have a friend which works in The Star and he said the columnist have to think of every new idea everyday to write it in, it's just random, not really true. But! This part about the personality, I think it is justified by many centuries of astronomical studies during the medieval era. Even up to now. People's character and personality are classified based on the shapes formed by stars at different time of the year. So here's the fun part, below are the personality traits of each horoscope according to the dates. Don't freak out if it's almost so true. I'm a VIRGO Chic by the way, and I'm a true VirGO. What bout u?



CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny.. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times... Like competition. Get what they Want.


AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.


PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative..May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Drea my and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.



ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19) Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge.. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.



TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate... Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.


GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.


CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.


LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.



VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22) Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to.Hard to please. Harsh.. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.


LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal... Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too
easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.


SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive... Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.



SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21) Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome)..Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing.. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes.. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

Just want to let it out from my heart...

My head lays on my pillow;
the room is dark and damp.
(-- if I could only see your face,
though I know that I can't)

I try to close my eyes and sleep,
but your face haunts my dreams.
(I feel like I've been torn apart...
I'm broken at the seams.)

I toss and turn; I'm restless.
I know I will not sleep;
(I know that I still think of you.
Do you still think of me?)

My eyes now face the darkness;
the demon's haunting our lives.
(It seems we had it all and more;
Why did you leave me so fast? Why?)

It seems the clock ticks slowly,
and yet our love went by so fast.
(Just where did I go wrong in this,
to make this love not last?)

I sit up smooth, but slowly;
I grip my sheets in my bare hands.
(Why did you ..)

It seems the night is quiet
as I stand by my dark window.
(You left with not a word to say;
why did you have to go?)

The crickets dance like autumn.
The night is lit like June.


Laying on my bed once more,
I stare blankly ahead.


I feel like such an empty pleasure,
like I could scream aloud this night.
(Was I just living in a dream?
Was nothing really right?)

I watch the seconds pass me by;
The silence fills my heart.
(You know that I am fragile;
do you know I'm torn apart?)

A tear slides down my ghostly face
and falls onto my sheets.

I close my eyes so gently
as if I am afraid I'll break.

The questions lull me into sleep,
a sleep filled with your face.

I wake up to a quiet morning
the world is still the same
(you were the best that I had
and now I'm stuck with pain...)

my routine passes quickly by
not consciously awake
(it seems you are the only one
is all this a mistake?)

I feel like going back to bed
but your laugh lingers there
(you said that you would never leave
you said you'd always care)

my breakfast has no taste at all
the news is nothing new and i can feel that i am lost.. in this beautiful world..

** Al Fatihah **

One last breath and it's the end. One last breath and I won't see you again.

Now that you're gone,
It's too dark at night.
It's constantly cold.
And nothing seems right.

Now that you're gone
It hurts to be alone.
I can't stand it here without you
Afraid and on my own.

Now that you're gone
My world means naught,
I'm sorry for what I said,
And all the times we fought.

Now that you're gone,
I can't seem to find my smile.
I didn't think I'd lose it yet,
At least not for a while

Now that you're gone,
I can't help but yearn
For the love that we had
And the day that you'll return

Now that you're gone
And have left me behind
I'm loosing my focus
And have already lost my mind.

Now that you're gone
Nothing else will matter
Each day I'm without you
My heart won't cease to shatter

Now that you're gone
All it does is rain,
The heavens seems to weep,
As if they feel my pain.

Now that you're gone
I just want to cry,
Because I curse that night you left,
When we had to say good-bye.

Now that you're gone
I only want one wish,
For you to come back
And give me just one kiss

Sick Mode : ON

Huhuhuuuuu..

My body is aching and started to feel shivering.
As a result, it's gonna be an early night for me & hoping that I will be recovered by tomorrow morning.
There are so things that need to be settle by tomorrow morning.. Visa Renewal, Medical Check-Up, Pay Bills and have to do some shopping for my parents birthday present.
I just visit the doctor for check up and thank God because I am cleared with the H1N1 Virus. *Alhamdullilah*
Btw, I really hope that this medicine will kills all the virus in my body asap.
**I really need a nice hot soup**

Malaysia Unity

I stumble into this song while blog hopping. This anti-racism song and music video inspired by Pete Teo as the project founder, song co-founder & song composer. Directed by Yasmin Ahmad and Ho Yuhang. Artistes involved includes Ning Baizura, Awie, Afdlin Shauki, Jaclyn Victor, Suki and many more.

There’s about 120 people involved in this video. Help to spread this unity message to all Malaysian through your blog. Even just embedded the video with the link to their website will help to keep unity in our country Malaysia.
We are Malaysian and we the people are calling for peace and harmony among our multi racial country.

UNITY

I found this in Youtube. Yes, it did happen in Malaysia. But after I read the comments, it was a fight between Indonesian workers and residents who migrated here. Basically, I feel like UNITY has died among us. I believed that in this new government, which lead by our new Prime Minister, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Abdul Razak, Malaysia still can manage to preserve harmony and peace.
In my opinion, MALAYSIAN need to change their mindset. We have to forget about the past, move on to a better future. Although people are still slamming the Americans and President Obama, I strongly believe on his oath that YES WE CAN MAKE A CHANGE!

I call all friends,aunties,uncles,cousins,brothers,sisters, remind yourself of what kind of country you wish to live in. Always remember that we are the cause of change! We have the power to create the dreams of the people! Don't waste yourself in something that would mark a scar on the people in the eyes of the whole world!

Where has the LOVE gone

Hi Peeps.. Today, I just realize that I waste way too much time on the Internet. Fyi, I started surfing the net since 12noon till 0430!! I started my day by checking my personal & company emails, do some revisions for tomorrow flight, a lil bit of Facebooking, Yahoo Messenger, searching for new recipes, watching malay drama at tv3.com.my, blogging and editing some pictures.
OMG.. What a waste of a day I'm having here. Suddenly I feel like I have NO LIFE and I really need to change this bad habit. I don't know why but I really miss the good old times, where me and my buddy,Castelli; we used to hanging out together, did movie marathon in Mount Kiara, clubbing all night long and flirting with the hottest guy in the club! hahahahaha.. Time pass by so fast yet so slow.. I don't know why but I fell a bit mellow. I feel so lonely & so alone in this city.. It's hard for me to find a true friends who I can count on. I did have a few good friends but they are always busy with their love ones. Unlike me, everyday.. spending my time alone all night long. Sometime I wonder, why it's hard for me to find happiness. But I did believe that one day I will find the one who can make me smile again. Even, Castelli did feel the same too. She did asked me one question which I clearly have no answer to it. As Castelli said, "Where is the fun girl that she used to see?" And my answer is.. Silence..
Well, I guess it is not too late for me to change. I need to change my life. I need to change my silence towards the world, I need to find back my soul, I need to have more fun in me and oh yeah, I need to change my eating habit as well because my body is getting bigger and bigger. Last year, my weight is only 116 lbs(53kg) max but now, I am 136 lbs(63kg)!! I really need to keep fit and loose all these fat! *sob sob*

Anyway, I will be going home soon.. Yahoooooo!!! I hope a brighter day will come along with a new good friends.

*yawn* The time is now 0500 and I really need to sleep.. and once again I would like to thank Uncle Siang for the hilarious jokes.. LOL.. It's so funny liow! Until now, his joke is still in my head! hahahahahaa

Good night, people!

1 min Quotes

A sharp tongue can cut my own throat.
If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep.
Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends..... Loyalty.
The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.
The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.
One thing I can give and still keep...is my word.
I lie the loudest when I lie to myself.
If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished..
One thing I can't recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won't work unless ' I ' do.
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what I might have been.

Laugh Until I Cry

Today, I was laughing at something and I couldn't stop laughing and it was pretty painful; but definitely Worth it and that's the way the cookie crumbles. *grin*
Resources: Funny people! Uncle Siang's Idol.. (you know who you are)
Lessons & tips: Make sure you don't have any food in your mouth.

It starts from Proton Exora to "Kedai Dobi Bergerak" or Mobile Laundry. There is one statement which is still fresh in my mind.. "Org asli pun x nak beli kete Juara".. LOL
OMG.. you are so funny la, Lim Kit Harrisiang.
And then, he cracked with another joke about Uncle Lim and until now I cannot forget all of his joke! So damn funny la.. Anyway, thank you Uncle Siang, because you really made my day! hahahahahahahaahhaahaha

p/s: I am would like to apologize to those who do not understand this post. Fyi, this is a Malay Joke. hehehehe...

Finally...

Yeeaayyy!! Finally my 4 days exam is finished and now i can't wait for my trip.. Emmm, I am still thinking where should I explore this time.. As usual, I will attack all the food stalls in KL and where else????? Anyway, I have to sign out now because I need to do some preparations for my flights before I am off to Malaysia!!!!!
Good Night people!!!!!! XOXO

New Hair Cut..

Hi Peeps..
Fyi, I am so hungry & angry right now. I just ate cereal but still feel hungry.. Emm, I guess I need to eat more food. Grrrrrrrrrrr..
Oh yeah, I just cut my hair a lil bit shorter(as the hair-stylist said).
Well, how many of you have a problem with a hair-stylist? Me, YES! I wonder why is it so hard for them to follow instructions from a customer. I know that they have an experience in cutting people hair, but to me they should understand to customer needs as well. Emmmm, that's what had happened to me. I did mention to him that I only want to trim my hair a bit; around 2inch..but he cut my hair till this short!!!!!! (I was fall asleep during that time - maybe too tired after 2 hours of body massage & 9 hours flight). Anyway, how can I tide my hair for tomorrow flight??!!! For those who don't know, my job requires the hair to be tide neatly. And now.. I cannot even do a pony tail!!!!! How laaaaaaaaa.... Tomorrow I have to fly back to base and my hair is SHORRTTT huhuhuuuu.. and the worst part is, I cannot go back to the Salon because it's already 2100 hours. I have to find a solution.. **think think think**
Emmmmmmm, suddenly I feel so hungry la pulak. Well people.. moral of the story for today.. Never ever let other people control your life/decisions. Be strong and say NO to Drugs! Aikkk.. why suddenly I change topics here.. maybe too hungry & too angry I guess.. heheheee
I need to sign out now, and above you can see how short is my hair from the previous one. Good Night Peeps!!!

My BFF

Hi Peeps..

Today I feel like I want to share with the world about My BFF, Castelli Wong.
I still remember the first day and the place we meet, it's in August 1999 at Mui Plaza Clinic, Kuala Lumpur. At that time, we are doing our first day Medical Check-up for Korean Air. While waiting for the doctors, we are chit chatting about the company and some stuff(a bit of gossiping & mumbling about the company). hehehe
After a while, the man who is sitting beside us stood up and went to the reception counter. We thought that he is just a patience or maybe a new crew like us. Suddenly, he hold a pieces of paper and started to called our name. OMG!!!!!!! He is one of the Cabin Crew Manager in Korean Air!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We feel so embarrassed & and we don't even dare to look at him.. So Maluuuuuuuu...huhuhu
But, we are consider so lucky because he did not take any action or warning to both of us.. heheehe, or else we wont be joining as one of their team. Maybe he understand that we are still young and still naive about the aviation industry.**blink blink** Thank you, Mr.Hidhir.
Well, back to my BFF. For almost 10 years, we had so many good & bad memories together. I still remember our first trip to Singapore..hehehee..so many things happened there as it is our first time clubbing in overseas.hahahahaha!
In other words, she means everything to me, She is My Lil Sister, My Guardian Angle, My Partner in Crime, My Soul Mate, My Wrestling Partner, My Lecturer and sometimes My Mom(because she like to mumbling about my party party activities & I'm a bit naughtier than her..Well, that's because I am a Virgo Chic & she is a Pieces Baby..hehehee
Even though we are no longer working in the same company, but I still miss her accompany. Especially her jokes & her motivational advices.heheehe.. Fyi, she is currently with Singapore Airline and me, here in Etihad Airways; The National Airline of UAE(i am promoting Etihad to the world..hahahaaha)
Oh yeah, I did attached her pictures and Castelli Wong, if you read this, all I wanted to say is.. I LOVE you so much & no one can replace you in my heart. XOXO

10 reasons to treat your Mom

It is your mother who brings you to see the light of this world. It is she who looks after the helpless you and serves you with all her heart and does everything to make your life comfortable. Just for a day, at least, we shall stop taking our mothers for granted.
Mother's Day is one occasion that gives you the opportunity to do something for your mother. And if you start wondering about the reasons you need to treat your mother, you would end up with nothing less than a zillion reasons. Let's just remember the most important reasons for which we need to be grateful to our mom and that would be enough to arrange a lavish treat for her on the special occasion of Mother's Day.

* Since your childhood you have watched your mom washing and ironing your clothes, keeping your school uniform sparkling and spotless, and your jumpers without a single crease.
* You have been lucky enough to be picked and dropped to and from your school every single day right form your first day at school.
* Whenever you had a fight and for the slightest reason or if you needed a reason to cry on someone's shoulders, your mom was the one giving you the comfort and patiently listening to all your heartburns and grumbling.
* Just remember the innumerable times you wanted a fresh new set of designer clothes and your mother dug out her pocket money to fulfill your wish.
* The food world in which you gorged ever since you were a child and grew up on, was cooked day in and day out by your beloved mother. Just think of the hundreds of incredible dishes she prepared for you, the tasty lunchboxes she fixed for you, the cakes she baked, the snacks, the cups of tea and delicious suppers. It surely makes your mouth water even now.
* Your mother is always there for you through every thick-and-thin of your life. She is the person you can depend upon to stand by you anytime you need her.
* Remember all those difficult undecided moments of life and you needed someone who could make you see reason and pour some worldly-wise advice in your ears. It was surely your mother who lent you patient ears and then pulled you out of the mess in your life.
* Think about the tons of love she professes for you everyday through all her acts, big and small. It can't even be measured. It can only be felt.

What your mother does for you is absolutely beyond assessment but when the enormity of her love and sacrifice is felt you realize that surely your mom deserves a special treat this Mother's Day. It would only be a small way to show your gratefulness to her.

To Mama, I love you so much till death do us part!

Let's go shopping!

After 2 years of waiting, finally the iPHONE 3G 16GB have arrive in Malaysia & U.A.E.*grin*
I had made the price comparison between Maxis Malaysia & Etisalat U.A.E and there are so much different in price.

I really cannot wait to go back to Kuala Lumpur and I will get this baby no matter how much it cost.

It has a Wi-Fi, suitable for blogging, and it's APPLE!(coz I am Mac User)
*hops around*
I'm totally satisfied with this phone, normally phones with nice design don't have a clear camera, but this one does!
Oh and err...If there's anyone out there have this phone & you would like
to share any comments about this iPHONE, please do.. Cheers!
**chicken dance!!**

Islamic Mobile Phone

Good News for all Muslims!!

M Mobile is the World First Malaysian Mobile Company providing Islamic Mobile Phone Solutions.
The mobile phone are capable of giving out information such as; Qiblat, Prayer Time, Azan and Guidelines for Hajj.(180 countries and 300 cities)
The price range is from USD50 and above. It is very affordable and user friendly.

They have various designs and models to choose from. For more information, please browse at www.mmobile.com.my

Have a great day and please spread the words to all fellow Muslims.

So sick of being sick

I had fallen sick. For the past 1.5 month, I was either having a fever, or sore throat, or coarse voice, or coughing non stop or body aching. I was quite put off by this whole sickness that I am so sick of being sick.

Have seen 2 doctors, finished all the medicine, went to medical hall and got other medicines, herbal tea, no fried food, no chili, no cold drinks, no coffee but all after all, I am still sick.

I hate being sick, because it caused you to feel sickly/lousy, no mood to work and no appetite to eat. All I want to do is to hurl up in my bed and rest. But with this kind of hot weather, I cant sleep in air-con (because of the nonstop coughing) so sleeping becomes miserable too.

Damn. And I have tonnes of work that I have to do. No mood, no energy, everything has come to a stop at this moment.

Right now I just want to recover and get back to normal, so that I can focus on my coming Recurrent Safety & First Aid Training...